Friday, December 31, 2010

NBA Tattoo Manifesto Installment 6: Mike Bibby


Name: Mike Bibby

Team: Atlanta Hawks
Position: Point Guard
College: Arizona

Height: 6'2"
Weight: 195 lbs.




Mike Bibby only played two years of college ball at the University of Arizona.  In his first season, he led the Wildcats to a national title over the University of Kentucky.  Following his sophomore year, Bibby was drafted second overall by the Vancouver Grizzlies, where he played until 2001 when the Grizzlies moved to Memphis.  Shortly after the move, Bibby was traded to Sacramento for Nick Anderson and Jason Williams (the white one, not the one who killed his limo driver and not the one who crashed his motorcycle.)  Bibby guided Sacramento to the Western Conference Finals the following season, the highlight of his time with the Kings.  In 2008, Bibby was traded to Atlanta, where he has been playing ever since.

Mike comes from a large family of professional athletes.  His father, Henry Bibby, was a former NBA player for the Philadelphia 76ers.  His uncle, Jim Bibby, played professional baseball for 4 teams.  He has two cousins who are professional athletes: Robbie Findley, a forward for Nottingham Forest and the U.S. National Team, and Shaun Mcdonald, a wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Bibby's sister is married to Eddie House.


Exhibit #1: Assorted
Location: Lower Arms

Mike has a lot of interesting tattoos, many of which are dedicated to his family.  On his right wrist, Mike has his girlfriend's name "Darcy" tattooed.  Darcy is the mother of Mike's 4 children - Michael, Janae, Mia and Nylah.  Mike has each of their names tattooed on different parts of his body as well.

On his wrists, Mike has tattoos of his favorite psalms: 27 and 65.  For those of you who don't know those off the top of your head, those are "The Lord is my Light and my Salvation.  Whom Shall I fear?" and "Praise awaits You, oh God, in Zion.  To You our vows will be fulfilled."  He also has "WWJD" on his left wrist. 

Mike loves his Lord and savior.


Exhibit #2: NBA Hoop
Location: Left Leg

Gay.

Moving on.







Exhibit #3: "Only God Can Judge Me"
Location: Right Calf

Actually Mike, I just judged you.  I said that net tattoo was gay and then immediately moved on, as if to say "This tattoo is so gay that I will waste no more time on it."  This tattoo is almost as gay as that one.  If I were you, I would start spending more than 20 minutes thinking about the things I permanently emblazen on my body.  "Only God Can Judge Me" is just a different way of saying, "I know I'm a fuck up by society's standards." 

I know you're a professional athlete and everyone probably sucks your nuts every time you come up with an idea, but you should just hire somebody to be your "no" guy.  He would have definitely put the breaks on these two disasters.


Exhibit #4: "Team Dime"
Location: Upper Back

By far Mike's best tattoo, at least until he screwed it up by putting his relatives' likenesses around it.  Why do I like it so much?  Simple.  Its because "Team Dime" is clearly a gang symbol, which makes me infinitely fascinated by it.  Don't believe me that its a gang sign?  Here's the rest of Mike's crew showing off their respective "Team Dime" tats.  Something tells me this group of young gentlemen didn't gather to raise money for their local girl scout troop. 

Anyway, back to how Mike screwed this tat up.  On his left shoulder is his mother, Virginia, who appears to be pissed about something - probably that her son tattooed her likeness next to a gang symbol.  On his right shoulder are his grandparents.  Mike's grandfather looks like one of the crackheads from The Wire and his grandmother, I'm sorry to say, I mistook for Mao Zedong.  That's not a joke.  I spent 5 minutes googling "Mike Bibby Mao Tattoo" before I realized that it was his Nana.

Not an attractive woman. 

What makes the "Team Dime" thing more interesting is that since Bibby signed with Jordan's Jumpman label, "Team Dime" has become a major part of the company's marketing campaign, as shown below in Bibby's personal "Team Dime: Air Force One" line of shoes.  So the biggest, most successful shoe company on the planet is affiliating itself with a street gang?

Only in America.

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